I thought I would share some thoughts I have had lately based on recent events. I have had some medical issues of late which finally resulted in myself having what I can only describe as a breakdown. I found myself crying in our kitchen, in the fetal position and feeling as though the world was ending for me. I have finally had someone listen to me and I am having a "carers review" something I should have had many years ago. We do have a social worker but, they have always been on Sam's side and always ask "what does Sam require" I have never been asked what "I require"
I figure this could be the start of things finally changing, maybe just it is due to "carers week" seems that many people are listening to my pleas for help. I have also been diagnosed as clinically depressed and alcohol dependent too. Probably as a result of my role as the carer. I have told my GP be it right or not, drink had become my friend. I am ashamed to admit my alcohol consumption rose to 10 pints of cider a day! Many carers seem to have similar issues with drinking.
I have now been referred to an alcohol rehabilitation nurse at my GP surgery, I hope this will help me to overcome my issue with drinking, I also hope that having a carers review will give me the help and assistance I need to get myself back on track. I do feel that I have lost control of my life. Every thing seems to be too much for me right now.
I mean who in their right mind would end up crying over a dropped pan of sausages and end up crying in the fetal position. But why should it even get to that stage. I feel that the social workers should have acted sooner to enable me to cope, maybe they should have spotted the issues happening sooner too, maybe they should have listened to me and not just the person they are assigned to who is disabled. Hopefully carers week will highlight the issues of the roll of carers!