Sunday, 31 October 2010

31st October 2010

Had a great night sleep after some fantastic entertainment! we headed to breakfast and today I managed a hearty full English and I could have eaten more ! but I stopped myself.

After breakfast we spent some time in the amusement arcades on the 2p machines. We made £3 last over an hour and a half! We saw Guiness world record live. Sort of from the limited view I had. Then we saw the amazing Titan the robot, who recently appeared on channel 4s big brother. Totally awesome too.

The afternoon while Mrs W was asleep having her nap the children and myself went on the Go-karts and I sadly crashed out and the children were highly amused at me coming last! we then went on the bumper boats where again I came off worse with a drenching from both of the jubilent children!

The evening after dinner we saw a fantastic show called brainiac science abuse live. I can honestly say I am feeling very refreshed and happy. I have not felt this happy in a long while. I have also booked the same accommodation at Butlins for Christmas 2011 too.

Saturday, 30 October 2010

30th October 2010

Well, what a night we had here last night. X factor stars and Britain got talent stars apeared on stage and boy was the venue busy! we were all really tired and headed to our chalet. Rested watching a bit of television before heading to bed.

I woke up early this morning and jumped out of bed, I realised it was only 7am and then headed back to bed knowing I could, was a nice thought!! I got up for the second time and woke every one else to get ready for breakfast, our chalet is clean and in good order but the bathroom does not smell too great even before we arrived in it.

We headed to the dining room and helped ourselves to a full breakfast, I thought I was hungry untill I sat and tried to eat the food on my plate, I struggled to eat much at all. The same cannot be said for the rest of the family!! they ate a good breakfast.

The morning was spent playing in the games arcade on the 2p machines, the children were trying to swap pin badges with the staff. At 1pm Mrs W went to bed for a nap and the children and I watched a show starring the looney tunes bugs bunny and daffy duck namely with a brief appearance of tweety pie too. Very clever and much enjoyed by all of us!

We headed to the dining room where we had yet another wide selection of food available. This evening we are heading to Reds for the entertainment, George Sampson from Britians Got Talent 2 years ago is starring. Love to see that! We are also promised some fireworks too and the weather looks promising too.

Friday, 29 October 2010

29th October 2010

Woke this morning early to allow the carer in to aid Mrs W with her shower. Woke the children after making breakfast for myself and Mrs W. Then finished packing the last minute things into the holdalls for our Halloween weekend break.

The carer came and went. I loaded the car and we were on the road for 8:30am towards Butlins, we had a relatively smooth and easy journey down here, if a little windy, the car was blowing all over the motorway in some places,  the autumnal colours along the way were stunning, russets, reds and yellows all ooking majestic against the grey autumn skies.

We arrived at Butlins and we were greeted at the entrance and directed to a car park. We were advised they were at 9500 capacity this weekend and would be busy. They are so not wrong! I checked in, moved the car to the accomodation and headced back to the complex and enjoyed some " me time" a pint and chilled waiting for the accomodation key to activate.

We eventually got the car unloaded and into our accomodation, then hdeaded out for our evening meal. After which, we headed to one of the entertainment venues where we saw  some great entertainment  including some stars from "x factor" and "Britains got talent"

So far I am feeling relaxed and chilled out. Not sure for how long, but, they say a change is as goo as a rest, Butlins does feel like a home from home for me too having been coming here since our son was 1 year old, he is now 16. Some of the staff know him and us, which is a great bonus too.

Thursday, 28 October 2010

28th October 2010

We went to bingo last night and yet again now win, still can't win all the time I guess, however a win before our weekend away would have been very nice indeed.

I woke this morning early as the council workmen were due in to stain  our new doors for a second coat and paint the door frames and such. They were due here at 8am, actually they did not show until 9am. I could have stayed in bed a while longer had I known. Still I guess I know for next time.

I headed to our local supermarket where I purchased the groceries for the day and took our plastic bottles to the recycling bank. The painter left mid morning saying he would be back on Monday if it was drier to finish off what needed doing. I told him we may not be here as we are heading away the weekend, he said not to worry, he could come back Tuesday if we were not here.

I have very nearly packed for our weekend and the battle of the washing is won! till next time that is. The afternoon I am watching a movie, the front and rear door are still drying so it is a bit breezy in here today, I cannot shut them until dry enough to do so, although some of our neighbours have done, I think it will leave marks and look unsightly, so I am persevering with the draught.Mrs W is having her afternoon nap, the children are in their rooms on their games consoles, so I am sat all alone again, enjoying the peace.

The plan is not to go to bingo tonight and try and have an early night so I can rise early tomorrow to load the car while, Mrs W has her shower with the carer, as soon as she is showered we can head off for our weekend away. However I suspect Mrs W may change her mind and ask me to take her out, she and I do like going out and it is much more stimulating than sat in front of the television too.

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

27th October 2010

We went to bingo last night, had a really great night, but sadly no win. Our children got back from the Hippodrome at around 11pm last night having seen Beauty and the Beast.

Woke this morning at 6am in readiness for the carer to come and help Mrs W with her shower. I made breakfast for us both and then got ready for the day, I left the house at 7.30am to carry out my mystery price checking audits.

I headed home at 9.30am and found the council outside our place, they had just pulled up,  unannounced to stain our new doors and paint the door frames and also clean and clear out the guttering front and back. They are coming back tomorrow to finish the job.

This afternoon I made a start finally on packing for our weekend away, I am also taking a Halloween costume, I think all of us will dress up for Halloween night, should be fun. I tackled the mountain of ironing that none of you volunteered to help me with too, I can now see the bottom of the laundry basket too.

I sat and watched a movie while Mrs W was in bed for her afternoon nap, the children kept themselves busy with friends out and about, making the most of the sunshine. Tonight we are heading back to bingo, it is again half price and a curry night, so might have a curry too.

Tuesday, 26 October 2010

26th October 2010

Woke this morning to the sound of the telephone ringing,it was 10am, it was my mum in law, she was arranging the day as she was supposed to be taking the children off our hands, however she has been unwell and thought better of taking them to the arranged show beauty and the beast at the Hippodrome tonight, she will and did still have them late afternoon and gave them tea, however they are now going to the show with a good friend of ours.

After making breakfast for Mrs W and waking the children up, I headed to the supermarket and bought the days groceries. I headed home and then sat and did nothing, it turns out I have forgotten to take my blood pressure and anti depression medication for 2 days, not sure how that happened, but anyway, I took them today.

I had to take the children to their work for training session today, all the staff are being trained in how to use their coffee machine in the correct manner, after their shift they are heading to my mum in law for tea, she will bring them back and then our good friend will take them to the Hippodrome for the show.

The washing machine has been on a number of times today, in an effort to try and clear the rather full washing basket prior to our weekend away. I now have a pile of ironing on the lounge chair, I detest ironing, any volunteers? ..... No? I didn't think so.

Tonight we are heading to Mecca bingo, they have an offer on where all your bingo is only £10.00. Got to try and see if we can win some spending money for our weekend away.

Monday, 25 October 2010

25th October 2010

Woke this morning to a frost, the first real one of the autumn for us, I let the carer in after making myself and Mrs W breakfast, I let the children sleep in for a bit, it is half term so they can.

I headed out to carry out my regular  price checking audits at the supermarkets  I have been doing lately, I purchased our groceries for the day while carrying them out. I was also able to take a photo of the Clifton Suspension Bridge while I was out this morning, it looked stunning with the autumn colours of the trees behind it and the mist.

After lunch, Mrs W headed for her afternoon nap, I was left able to sit and watch a movie, I should really be packing for our upcoming weekend away, but I have made my mind up, I shall do it later in the week, possibly tomorrow.

This evening we are supposed to be staying in and not going out to Mecca, some friends we have made there, were really impressed and surprised when we took them half a dozen fresh eggs last night. But I suspect we shall probably end up going anyway.

Sunday, 24 October 2010

24th October 2010

We stayed in last night and watched the television as we planned, didn't win the lottery, so I am still here, feeling a little down last night and today, had some rather disturbing thoughts too. Ones, that, I really do not want to act on, but feel like acting on. Confused springs to mind. Not getting motivated into anything not even Christmas shopping, by now I have done it and they are all wrapped usually.

Woke this morning at 8:30am. made breakfast for myself and Mrs W, then woke the children up at 9:00am, but neither rose until 9:30am after several wake up calls, while I was on my own downstairs I was able to watch the Korean Grand Prix in peace.

I headed out of the house to take our plastic recycling to the bottle bank and then filled the car with diesel, then bought the groceries for the day, I made our lunch early today as I had to take our children to the pub for their shift.

I headed home from the pub, then sat and watched some television before, heading out to a frozen food shop to carry out a mystery shop visit, I have to pay attention to the shelves and if I find any damaged torn or ripped packages, I have to purchase them as evidence of none compliant products. I get to send the products off to the head office of the company too, I also get a spending allowance to buy some groceries of my own choice too.

I headed home and filed my report, took the photos of the damaged items and then, sat and watched more television, I should be tackling the mountain of washing we have as at the weekend coming up, we are heading to Butlins for Halloween, so I want an empty washing basket prior to that. There is still time, so I left it today. 

I then collected our children from the pub, came home and made dinner, then, we headed out to Mecca bingo for the evening.

Saturday, 23 October 2010

23rd October 2010

Well, Mrs W and I went to bingo last night and they got the previous nights winnings back as we never won anything last night. We did however have a good night out, so over the last 2 days we have not really lost anything. But neither did we gain anything either.

We were woken this morning by our son, at 9.30am. Some time after I had wanted to be awake. Good job we were not going to my nan's this morning as she is still in hospital following her recent illness, I just had to visit my mum today, we usually visit my mum mid morning so it was a good job. We headed to my mum, I drank copious amounts of coffee before heading to the pub to drop both our children at their work. Our daughter has been offered a job there too, today was her first shift.

After I dropped the children off, I headed home and made some lunch for Mrs W and myself. I had a telephone call, the rest of our daughters school uniform was finally available, I have only been waiting since the end of August for it. I collected the new uniform, then headed to the local shops, I purchased our groceries and lottery. I then headed home where I was able to watch a movie.

I collected our children from the pub, then headed home and ordered a take away for our dinner, I always order take away on Saturday and sometimes on a Sunday too due to them working. While in the pub I sat by their wood burning fire with a pint. I am not sure our son is too impressed having his sister working with him. I get the impression he is not, but I admire them both for actually wanting to work.

Tonight we are staying in and watching the Saturday night television, not going to bingo tonight as a result. Usually the television is good on a Saturday night anyway.

Friday, 22 October 2010

22nd October 2010

We came home from Bingo last night with a small win of £20.00 the win paid for our bingo tickets and a pint for myself, so the evening only really cost us a drink for Mrs W. Have made some really good friends at the bingo hall too. I always enjoy going as a result. It is nice to actually converse with other people. Rather than sit in day in day out not seeing anyone.

This morning I was woken by the doorbell ringing at 7:15am. apparently the carer had been ringing it since 7am. I hurriedly got dressed and let her in, Mrs W had her shower and we had to use the bathroom after she had finished, while she was in the shower I made her a cup of tea and toast, she had them when she came down stairs. I still made it out of the house and onto the college and school run in good time. On my way however a road that I usually use was closed, I had to make a diversion which meant taking a busier route.  I eventually managed to complete the school and college run.

I headed to the local supermarket and purchased the groceries for the day. While out I noticed the sky was full of hot air balloons. It was a magical sight to see too. I love hot air balloons, I did go on one with Mrs W a while back, I am hoping to do it again sometime too, maybe a treat for Mrs W's 40th birthday in a few years time would be a good time to do it. The trouble is, finding one that is accessible as Mrs W is not as mobile as she once was.

The domestic carer arrived a little later than usual, as a result she was only able to do some of the usual tasks. I made sure that she cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen as a priority. She also ran the vacuum around the house from top to bottom too.

I still seem to be suffering a little with the virus, I have had a headache and sore throat today. But I am not as bad as I was earlier in the week. Having the new doors front and back fitted by the council has made a difference to the warmth of the house we have found too. The heating is not staying on as much as it used too either. The hall way is not as draughty either.

Tonight we have a voucher offering us cheaper bingo so we are heading there again. Lets hope we have another win, or, indeed a much bigger win this time round. It would be lovely to get a big win as we are away on holiday for Halloween.

Thursday, 21 October 2010

21st October 2010

Well, we came home from Mecca bingo last night without a win, but coming close several times. Their curry night was surprisingly really good too. We will be doing it again another Wednesday evening. Also we came home to some sad news about my 89 year old Nan, she was found in bed last night unable to move or talk, suspicions are she had a stroke,she is now in hospital and we await for more news.

I woke this morning and actually reset my alarm rather than using the snooze button, I figured I could have an extra hour in bed and still make the breakfast and carry out the school and college run. I woke our children up, they seemed as eager as me to get started on the day. We all seemed to struggle this morning, plus it was cold and frosty too.

I headed to the supermarket after the school and college run, then it was home, where  I caught up on some bill paying and cheque writing while the contractor from the council were here installing new front and rear doors, needless to say having them changed at the same time has made the house cold all morning.

The contractors finally left at 1pm having been here since 9am fitting the new doors. I headed out and finally was able to let the chickens out, much to their relief. I had been unable to before as the contractors were in and out of the rear garden and the doors were open allowing the chickens into the house.

I sat and warmed up and watched a movie before heading out of the house to collect the children from school and college, I headed back home and made some dinner. Tonight we are heading back to bingo, it is free bingo tonight so any win would be a bonus too!

Wednesday, 20 October 2010

20th October 2010

Woke this morning surprisingly refreshed for a change, despite Mrs W having a restless night, I know she had a restless night as she is not too graceful when getting in and out of bed, neither is she quiet, she could best be described as a herd of elephants with the noise she makes, only there is one of her not a herd.

I woke the children and then got ready for the day, I am happy to say we have all seemed to make a recovery from our virus infection and things are nearly back to normal in the health department and the household. The personal carer came, helped Mrs W with her shower, I then headed out of the house to take the children to college and school. The traffic was diabolical this morning and as a result our son was late for college, despite leaving our home at 8am!

I headed off to carry out my price checking audits around Bristol, it seemed to take me forever today with the traffic. But eventually I made it home in time to see Mrs W come home with the carer who had taken her shopping. Eventually I was only thirty five minutes later than usual.

After lunch Mrs W headed to bed for her afternoon nap and I was able to sit and watch a movie, prior to collecting our daughter from school, I did not need to pick our son up as he caught the bus home as he only has half day at college.

This evening we are heading to Mecca bingo, they have a promotional night on the bingo tickets and a drink as well as a curry for £4.99. Would be great night out, especially if we were to win too. I also had a letter from an MP about funding for a web forum I belong too for carers, I wrote to her a few days ago and she replied today, I hope for all that the Chill4us site can gain funding and remain intact, I have found it such an inspiration and help especially during the last couple of months or so.

Day 12 on anti depressants:

I am feeling less tired, lethargic and less suicidal in thoughts, I am feeling less heavy hearted too, I think the tablets are helping loads now, I don't seem to struggle to wake in the mornings for the last few days either.

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

19th October 2010

I woke this morning with a slight battle of the snooze button, I do not feel well at all, sore throat, nausea, headache. Our daughter, son and Mrs W all have the virus too, I made breakfast for myself and Mrs W and woke the children, they got up, our daughter phoned her shop to let them know she would not be in and they were most rude to her, so, she quit her paper round. Our son let the chickens out, I headed back upstairs and laid down on the bed, the next moment, our son said he was not going to college, our daughter felt too ill for school, so, I got back into bed too.

I woke for the second time of the day at 10:30am, made another cup of tea, checked on the children and the chickens. I then sat and watched some daytime television, before heading out to carry out a mystery shop visit in a local betting shop and buying some groceries for the day too. I headed back home after the mystery shopping visit and filed the report online. Our children were still in bed and show know signs of emerging. Mrs W  phoned her mum, who also has the virus and is off work.

After lunch, Mrs W headed to bed for her afternoon nap, our daughter played on her games console and myself and son sat and watched the DVD I watched with my daughter yesterday, I didn't mind, I enjoyed the film the first time round and just as much  the second time round too.

We are all still suffering with a virus, not sure how long it will last, but all we want to do is sit, rest and sleep, appetite is somewhat affected too. I am not sure how much longer it will continue, but I am hopeful not for much longer. The children emerged from their bed at just before noon, just in time for some lunch.

This evening we shall be staying in, watching the television, not going out as really do not feel up to it, I have made some really good friends at the Mecca Bingo club, they take time to chat to myself and Mrs W, they know us now too. It feels like a home from home and there is always a happy atmosphere there too. Just what you need when feeling low etc, but not when you are feeling ill.

Monday, 18 October 2010

18th October 2010

I woke this morning, I felt nauseas and was very ill, I won't say to what extent, I managed to make breakfast for myself and Mrs W, Our daughter woke and she too was ill, she stayed home from school today. The carer came to aid Mrs W with her shower. I eventually headed out and took our son to college.

After taking our son to college I headed to my now regular 3 price checking audits at the local supermarkets. While I was out completing them, I purchased some groceries for the day. I headed home and managed to chat to the domestic carer, I got her to carry out some additional tasks I had noticed needed doing.

I checked on our daughter who has been in bed sleeping all of the morning, she finally emerged from bed as I was making myself and Mrs W some lunch, she had a bowl of soup. She then stayed sat on the sofa with me, Mrs W headed to bed for her afternoon nap. Myself and daughter sat watching a DVD together. Our son came home from college and was most upset we were watching the DVD as he wanted to watch it too.

I then headed to the local chemist to collect our prescriptions, I ordered them on Thursday after realising Mrs W was nearly out of her medication. This evening we are hoping to head to bingo, but I still feel a little delicate and nauseas too. Although I have not been ill any further.

Day 11 on anti depressants:

Still managed to wake up, although I was tempted to use the snooze button, I forced myself to get out of bed.

Sunday, 17 October 2010

17th October 2010

I went to bed last night and I was wide awake, I simply could not sleep, I relented and took one of the sleeping pills the doctor had given me, the first one I have taken since I was diagnosed with depression on the 8th October so all in all not bad, but I so do not want to become dependant on them. She advised me one of the main draw backs of them is they make you gain weight after prolonged use, which would somewhat undermine all my hard work dieting to aid my blood pressure and cholesterol. She said to only take them when I needed too. Well as I say I was wide awake at gone 1am so I felt I had no option, but boy, do I feel refreshed this morning. I slept like a log and did not wake until 9am.

I made breakfast and looked out the window to see we had our first ground frost too, Autumn is slowly disappearing into Winter it would seem. I looked out and saw what I thought were leaves in the garden, when I went to check I could see they were feathers and lots of them, they were in several spots around the garden too, I counted only 2 chickens, it seems Mr fox had paid our garden a visit and taken one, namely Penny our newest hen.We are all deeply saddened at losing Penny. Strange how you become so attached to animals/pets etc.

I have 2 mystery shopping visits at a supermarket today and I have to get some shopping for the day, as well as take our son to his shift at the pub he works at. After the first mystery shop I headed home and made lunch, only a pasty and a doughnut as like I say, I have to take our son to his shift at the pub. On the way to the pub, I stopped off and filled the car with diesel and then headed home after reaching the pub. I filed my first mystery shop report and Mrs W headed to bed for her nap, our daughter was on her gaming console and I sat and caught up with my facebook and twitter accounts, before heading off and carrying out mystery shop number 2. I headed back home, filed the report and was able to grab a little time to watch some television before heading out once more to collect our son from his shift at the pub. Tonight for tea we shall have another take away due to lack of time on my part. The weekends tend to be take away as a rule. Next weekend our daughter starts helping out at the pub too, so at least we shall get some time on the weekend with out them both.

This evening I am staying in with Mrs W yet again, she seems to have caught the virus that our son had a few days ago, our daughter is seeming a little under the weather too, our son is nearly over it, but is left with a cough which is irritating him.

Day 10 on anti depressants:

could not sleep last night so took a sleeping tablet. woke at 9am feeling refreshed and happy until I found the carnage of one of our chickens caused by a fox! I do feel alot less heavy hearted and I do seem to be getting my old self back too.

Saturday, 16 October 2010

16th October 2010

This morning I would like to have been up at 9am at the latest. However, I was woken up by our daughter at 10am, we had 20 minutes to get dressed and out the door to visit my mum as we usually do on Saturday, my nan, called to ask us not to visit this morning as she was still not feeling well, she still has gangrene in her foot, they had told her she needed to go into hospital, so far she has refused. I think however she is getting seen by her GP and treated at home with good effect.

My mum was pleased to see us and she gave me full details of a recent car crash she had, she has written her car off, but at least she is okay and came out of it unharmed. After visiting my mum, I had to drop our son off at the pub he works at for a shift.

I took our daughter and Mrs W home for some lunch, then Mrs W headed to bed, I took a walk over our local park area and took some photos of the wonderful Autumn sights I found. Take a look HERE! 
 I spent around 2 hours over the park, I did not realise I had been out for so long, but, there were so many wonderful things to see and photograph, I got chatting to an angler and he showed me his keep net, full of fish, there were all kinds of people over there, dog walkers, families and anglers, as well as ramblers all enjoying the parkland on a typical autumn day.

I headed home and uploaded my photos to my facebook page, then sat and watched television including come dine with me. I headed out to collect our son from his shift at the pub. Tonight we shall have a take away for dinner for quickness and simplicity, I shall probably buy Curry, Mrs W and the children like it, I am not keen.

Not going to bingo tonight as we like the Saturday night television so we are staying in, the club has a special price night tonight too, but I think it will be busy as a result, so, less chance of a win. Probably best we don't go with that in mind.

Day 9 on the anti depression medication:

Despite oversleeping this morning I do feel more refreshed in myself, I am actually feeling a little less tired, stressed and worthless too. 

Friday, 15 October 2010

15th October 2010

Woke this morning for the second day in a row with relative ease, no snooze button required, despite the morning being as black as night. I headed downstairs and made a cup of tea and toast which I then took to Mrs W  along with her medication.The personal carer called as usual on a Friday morning to help Mrs W shower, I saw her arrive and she nearly went to the wrong house, I managed to grab her attention and she headed into our house. Our son woke, he says he feels much better than yesterday and I took both our children to school and college.

I did have a mystery shop visit in a local pub, but I woke this morning although brighter than of late, feeling somewhat under the weather so I cancelled it, I figured a day of doing pretty much nothing would be on the cards, rather than rushing here there and everywhere, possibly making myself ill.

After I had dropped our son off at college I headed to a supermarket and purchased some groceries for the day, as well as taking our plastics to the bottle bank in the supermarket car park. Afterwards I headed home, where I let the domestic carer in, who gave the house a top  to bottom clean, she even folded my pile of clean washing and emptied the dishwasher too, she was making friends with our chickens too, she seemed to like them. While the carer was here, I headed to a local stationary shop and purchased some photo paper to allow me to print some photos out that we like.

The afternoon I sat and watched a film, before heading out on the college and school run to collect the children, I then have to prepare our dinner, tonight will be sausage, mash and baked beans I think. We are also heading to bingo tonight too. We did go last night and we actually won another £15 it covered the cost of the bingo so all we paid out for was the drinks. They are launching a new menu in a couple of days, so last night, they had some samples of the new food items, myself and Mrs W both sampled some of the new food, Mrs W loved the curry and the apple crumble, I loved the chocolate melt in the middle pudding. I could not make my mind up on the main courses.

On our way home last night we saw a flat in Bristol with, I dare not  say it .... but, they did have them up..... Christmas lights!!! yes, I did just say that, we were in total shock at the sight!

Day 8 on the anti depressants:

I am finding waking up less of a chore and easier, well for the last couple of days at least, I am not sure if it is the anti depressants helping or not, I am also feeling a little less stressed at things too. I still find it difficult to put a smile on my face, but not impossible.

Thursday, 14 October 2010

14th October 2010

Well, today was the first day in ages I managed to wake up on time and refreshed, I actually feel like I had sleep, I avoided the snooze button too. I wonder if the anti depressants are beginning to have an effect? I just cannot explain how much better I feel today.

I woke our daughter up, she headed off for her paper round, I attempted to wake our son up, but he did not look well at all or indeed feel well, so he headed back to bed, where he has been most of the day, I have been checking on him and making sure he has plenty to drink too.

Today I have been relaying messages onto a forum I belong too, a group of the carers have met up for a meal, by the sounds of it, they are having a good time.

Our local council are going to send a company round shortly to replace our front and back door, I finally managed to get a date off them after phoning several days in a row now, they have already replaced some of our neighbours doors today.

Our daughter telephoned me from school, apparently her entitlement to free school meals has been cancelled and as a result she has not had any lunch at school today, I renewed the application not long ago, in fact well in advance of the current entitlement ending. The strange thing about it, is that our son is still on their system as being entitled to free school meals but she is not, but our son left school ages ago now!

Our daughter went to and from school on the bus today, so I have had no school run or college run to carry out as a result, I will now have to make sure our daughter has a substantial meal at home now, I had not planned on cooking today, as myself and Mrs W as well as our son ate a meal lunch time, meaning we would only need a snack tonight. It seems the council department responsible for renewing them had not received my application form. They emailed me a form which I was able to fill in and email back to them.

The afternoon I sat and watched a movie while our son and Mrs W were both upstairs asleep. Mrs W having her afternoon nap and him sleeping off this virus he seemed to have picked up, This evening we are heading to bingo. Had a night in last night. Managed to find something on the television to watch too, amazingly!

I also had an email from my step father, apparently my mum had a car crash, although she is not badly hurt, she has badly damaged her car. My Nan apparently has gangrene in her foot and after a visit by her GP is not looking good unless she accepts the hospital help that the doctor wants her to have. She is refusing to go into hospital and the GP stated if she did not go, then her chances were small of making a recovery. 

Day 7 on the anti depression tablets:

I woke feeling much fresher for a long while I have not. I seem to have a little more get up and go too, maybe they are finally helping me to cope and make a recovery.

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

13th October 2010

Our daughter finally got home from her trip to Wembley stadium at around 1:45am. By the time we got home it was gone 2am. I had to be up at 6:00am for the personal carer who was coming to assist Mrs W with her shower. She said she enjoyed her visit, but was, like the rest of the England supporters upset and disappointed at the lack of goals and indeed performance from the England team.

I took our son to college and then headed off to carry out my regular three price checking audits around Bristol, Mrs W was taken shopping by her carer, I dropped by our local hospital and collected a pair of shoes for Mrs W, she has them specially made to order to aid her now limited walking.

I came home to discover our daughter had remained home from school, she had talked Mrs W into calling the school before she went shopping and she was given the day off as she was tired from her long and late excursion yesterday. I filed my reports for the mystery price checking audits, then, Mrs W was home from shopping with the carer.

I made us some lunch and then Mrs W went to bed, I was left watching a movie with our daughter, I am tired and will have a nap a little later when Mrs W wakes up, feel guilty leaving our daughter on her own. I do not have to collect our son from college as he is catching the bus home so I do not have to venture out.

Tonight we are staying in again, I think a few nights in would do us good, especially as I got very little sleep last night.

Day 6 on the anti depressants, I do not feel as empty and under valued, I am feeling slightly more positive and I noticed I am not finding things as stressful as I was either, but there is still a long way to go. 

Tuesday, 12 October 2010

12th October 2010

Last night I gave the children money to get the bus to college and school, this morning I eventually woke up at 10am!. I prepared breakfast for myself and Mrs W. I then got ready for the day, shaved etc, I then took my medication after giving Mrs W hers.

I had a mystery shop visit to carry out at a local betting shop, I placed a bet on a horse called Onion Rings, it won. I won £12 on a £2 bet, plus I get paid for doing the mystery shop visit too. Bonus! I headed back home and filed my report, after which, I took Mrs W out for some lunch at one of our local favourite Italian's.

We headed home, but before doing so, I stopped off in Brantano and purchased myself a new pair of shoes, my only pair has now seen better days! Mrs W headed to bed and I headed to the local shops for some groceries. I then headed home and sat in front of the television watching some movie on Sky.

I only had to collect our son from college today, our daughter will need collecting later having been on a school trip to Wembley Stadium. A treat for students who are achieving well at school, it was funded by Avon and Somerset Police too. So for once no cost to us.

After collecting my son from college, I took him to our local 02 store where he, with my help was able to obtain a new mobile phone on contract, he assures me, he can afford it, he best had done. I cannot afford to bail him out all the time.

No bingo tonight as, I have to collect our daughter from school at an ungodly hour of 12.30 in the morning! so I am staying in relaxing and trying to stay awake to be able to collect her.

Day 5 on anti depressants and I have to say so far I feel no different, although I am able to raise the odd smile from time to time, so I guess that is some if not slight improvement.

Monday, 11 October 2010

11th October 2010

Good morning, as I suspected I am feeling tired, unmotivated and struggling, I am so glad many of you liked my conker photo. Thanks to Wendy for moving it to the public section of the forum, that I belong too. Glad I helped sort out your query too Wendy as to why people were not using the public section too, hopefully we will see an increase in traffic and as a result membership to!. I had another win at bingo last night, £50.00 would have been double, but I had to share again! I am good like that  w0[ I have 3 price checking audits today, I may even get my hair cut, if I can get motivated that is. Something I am struggling with at this time.

I made breakfast for myself and Mrs W and took it too her in bed, while doing so, I woke our children, our daughter headed off for her paper round and our son was almost up on his own! The carer arrived and was full of beans as always, don't you just hate that! I placed our recycling out for the collection and then made Mrs W another cup of tea. Before heading out to carry out my audits.

The domestic carer came and cleaned the house for us as usual on a Monday, the personal carer came too and gave Mrs W her shower and helped get her ready for the day.

Our son and daughter both headed off on the bus today, so I have no school or college run to do today, I should be able to get my audits done in good time as a result. I headed home after completing the audits, then went and had my head shaved, I felt so relaxed as they cut my hair, I nearly fell asleep, I wonder if Indian head massage might be something for me to try? Anyone recommend anyone who could help?

After lunch, I sat and watched a classic war movie, "The Battle of the Bulge"  really good classic 1965 film. I also had to get some electric on our pre pay meter. No school or college run today as the children went on the bus.

I am making us a meal of Pie, boiled potatoes and vegetables tonight at the request of our son, who pointed out we had not had pie for ages. Last night we headed to bingo and had yet another win, this time £50.00 would have been more, but myself and another winner shouted at the same time, so we had to share the prize.

Not sure what we are doing tonight yet, but it will either be bingo or watching nightly television I am guessing. Not a bad guess as that tends to be the only two options we have really!

Day 4 on my anti depressants and I have not yet noticed any difference, but I would like to thank everyone on facebook and twitter as well as the carers forum I belong to, for all the kind words of support, help and advice.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

10th October 2010

I had a restless nights sleep, I woke at least 4 or 5 times during the evening, once was down to Mrs W getting out of bed, with the grace of a drunk elephant. I knew I should have taken my sleeping medication last night, I should have realised I should have taken it, when, I found myself still clock watching at 1am, having gone to bed at 11.30am. Trouble is the GP said to only take them when I absolutely need too, they have many side effects including weight gain, something she was not keen on me doing, given the fact I had worked so hard to lose the weight due to my Blood Pressure and Cholesterol issues.

I finally relented and got out of bed at 7.30am, feeling somewhat fragile. I headed downstairs and let the chickens out, they were being noisy, they prefer to be out of their coop as soon as they can and they sure let us know they are awake too. I then headed inside, made some breakfast for myself and took my medication while watching the remainder of the Formula 1 race. I suppose that in its self was a positive spin to myself getting up early, I actually know the result first hand, usually I end up having it spoiled for me on my twitter and facebook pages.

I have a mystery shop visit to carry out in a supermarket at nearby Yate this morning, then, I have to take our son to his shift at the pub. Mrs W my daughter and I are having lunch at Mrs W's mums today, our son will have his plated up and he will eat it after his shift, Mrs W's mum will collect him from work and he and our daughter will stay at hers until she brings them home later this afternoon usually around tea time.

This evening we are heading to Mecca bingo as they have a promotion on making the games cheaper as today is !0th day of the 10th month of the 10th year, so at 10:10.10am/pm it will be

It is being marked also by a global day of doing, for climate change.
Day 3 on my anti depressants and I have to say, so far I feel no different. I hope they start to work soon, I just feel so isolated and angry too, I can't help it, I have a very short fuse with people and situations too, My fuse was never really that good anyway, but lately it just seems none existent! I say my fuse was never that good, but it was always good with Mrs W, but not lately, I find her frustrating at times. Usually I would let things she did or say go, lately they just really irritate me. I have also noticed I am picking my skin on my fingers, something I usually do when I am under pressure, nervous, anxious and such. Not something I do under normal conditions.  I also feel heavy hearted, sad inside, it is really hard to describe. But also at times I feel as though life is passing me by!

Saturday, 9 October 2010

09th October 2010

Woke this morning in a bit of a hurry, I had overslept, we head to my nan and mum on a Saturday and usually have to leave our place at 9am, I woke at 8.30am, we still managed to get out of the house in good time only leaving around 10 minutes later than usual, even managed to have breakfast take my medication which now is growing in numbers, I am sure I am beginning to rattle!.

Again my nan has been having trouble with her central heating, I fixed what I could and managed to talk her into getting someone in, she hates strangers in her home especially men! I called British Gas, not very cheap, but it was nan's choice of repairers. She cannot hear very well so, I found it difficult to relay the information to her from the girl on the phone, I have to say, fair play to British Gas, I had not even left her home and they were there. From putting down the telephone to them coming was only a period of 10 minutes. They even called me to tell me they were on their way. I stayed while the engineer was there to reassure my nan. I then headed to mum, by  which time I had a headache that nearly turned into a migraine, luckily I headed to a nearby Tesco and purchased some tablets and I managed to shift it. I think it was brought on by shouting information to my nan about the gas service and prices.

I headed to the pub where our son works and dropped him off for his shift, then home, I purchased some chips which were shared with our chickens as I could not eat them all. I then had to buy our lottery ticket and a few grocery items. Mrs W headed to bed and I was left watching a film. I also submitted a couple of pictures I had taken for insertion into a calendar being made to raise funds to keep a carers forum running here at   If you would like any calendars please get in touch, I had to collect our son from his shift at the pub, so I stayed and had a pint sat next to the wood burning fireplace.

I stopped off on the way back and brought is a curry for our dinner tonight, we are not going to bingo tonight, I am staying in and after a shower I shall probably settle down in my dressing gown, and have another lovely snuggle night.  Today is day 2 on my anti depressants, I hope they start to work soon, I am feeling very low, isolated and have a feeling of worthlessness too. I have also had some disturbing thoughts about how life would be much better off with out me too. Talk about tearful too. Everything is seeming such an effort and I seem to becoming a little bit reclusive in attitude too. I still go out, but I really do not feel like I want to go out. I am acting very irrationally at times. Not me at all. The GP said it could take up to 2 weeks for the medication to help in any way. But sometimes less. I hope it is less!

Friday, 8 October 2010

08th October 2010

Woke this morning and I feel tired, sad and emotional, enough is enough, I have made a doctors appointment this morning to sort myself out once and for all, I took a couple of online depression tests and they stated I was most likely moderate to severely depressed.  For a few months now, I have had a feeling of worthlessness, tiredness, trouble sleeping and finding life tough. So today I am going to seek some help.

I made breakfast for myself and Mrs W and then the personal carer came, helped Mrs W with her shower, before I headed out taking our daughter to school. I did have two mystery shopping visits today, but I have cancelled one to enable me to go to the doctor. The other, I shall do after I have dropped our daughter off at school, I have a shop at a local railway station to do today. I did not have to take our son to college as he prefers to take the bus when he can.

After the mystery shop, I headed to a local supermarket where I purchased today's groceries and took our plastic bottles to the recycling banks. On my way to the supermarket, I took a quick detour where I saw my old high school being demolished, it bought back several mixed emotions seeing it being torn down. In it's shadow stands the brand new modern high school which is now in use in it's place.

I made my appointment at the doctor, she asked me to fill in a questionnaire,  she then asked me some more questions and then told me, what I already knew, I am moderately depressed, she prescribed me some medication and also referred me to a counselling service too. After the doctor, I stopped off at the chemist and collected my medication.

By the time I got home it was time for some lunch for myself and Mrs W. I prepared it and sat watching some television while eating. Mrs W headed to bed for her afternoon nap afterwards leaving me to watch an old movie in her absence. While I was watching the movie, the postman came, I was not expecting anything, but he had a recorded delivery item for us,  I opened it and it was our Christmas savings vouchers, they had arrived earlier than usual.

I collected our daughter from school and headed home, where I started to prepare our dinner for all of us, Mrs W and I are heading out to bingo tonight, last night we won just under £100.00. Lets hope we can win again tonight, it was exactly 2 weeks since our last win last night too. I am also hoping that the medication I have been put on eventually help, that and the counselling I am being referred too. The Gp says that it is hardly surprising I am experiencing a bout of depression given the role I take on looking after Mrs W and two teenage hormonal children.

Thursday, 7 October 2010

07th October 2010

Our son had an in service day at college, so we sent our daughter on the bus to  school today, this meant we could sleep in, probably just as well given the fact we had a late night at the Colston Hall last night watching Al Murray and a fantastic support act! on our way home we were thwarted by no end of road works that were taking place at night, road works I was unaware of, it must have added a good twenty minutes or so to our journey home.

After I had made breakfast for myself and Mrs W I headed out to the cash machine to withdraw some money for some bills, I then headed to our local charity shops where I purchased a few pieces to sell on Ebay. I then had a mystery shop visit to carry out in a local bank, you could say I did a bank job, but as a mystery shop visit, I mean, to carry out a real bank job, would be just criminal!. Not my thing at all.

We headed to a nearby mobile phone shop, our son has a contract that is about to expire and he wants a new mobile, we discussed a few options and in  the end had to pre order one for a few days time, we then headed to a nearby supermarket and got the days groceries.  I headed home with the groceries, then we headed to a Harvest nearby, I have to say, not the best of meals, but I have heard many others saying how lately Harvesters in general seem to be experiencing a downward spire in their quality of food, I wonder if it is all about cost cutting to survive the recession ? usually we have a fair to good meal there.

Today, I have also made a decision that I will make an appointment to see my Doctor as soon as possible, my bout of depression like symptoms is now becoming more and more of a concern to me. Enough for me to consider seeing her as soon as possible in any case.

This afternoon Mrs W headed to bed for her afternoon nap, I sat on the sofa watching a film and once again uncharacteristically falling asleep too, I seem to do this all too often lately, I also have severe back ache again, I hope my Sciatica is not returning again!. Must be the strains of lifting and helping Mrs W at all hours of the day. I am genuinely finding life tough right now. The sooner I get to see my doctor the better. I did try today, but there were no appointments free, I shall try online after 7pm tonight, they may have one for tomorrow then.

Tonight we are heading to bingo, our usual club, Mecca tonight. I hope we shall win tonight, not long now until Christmas and today while at the supermarket I made our first food purchase, yes, I know early, but, from now until Christmas that is what I shall do, make a small purchase each day I visit, then, we shall not notice the cost of Christmas as much.

Wednesday, 6 October 2010

06th October 2010

Woke this morning and seemed to struggle to get motivated, I am seriously considering have a consultation with my GP, I struggle to get to sleep, have trouble waking and feeling tired most if not all of the day, I am also finding it very easy to fall asleep during the daytime too, not normal and reminds me of another previous episode I had where I was diagnosed as depressed, would fit in nicely given all the stress and pressures I have on my shoulders right now. I won't leave it much longer I don't think.

The personal carer came in this morning, she was unwell, I tried to avoid her as much as possible, I do not fancy going ill thanks very much. I think she should have stayed away in all honesty, but I doubt she would thank me for saying that, or indeed get any thanks from her company for taking a day off either.

The children headed to school and college on the bus today, so, that was one less thing for me to worry about today, as a result I could leave home earlier to carry out my 3 mystery price checking audits, as well as, a mystery visit to a bank too, total of 4 jobs today all before Mrs W and her carer came home from shopping.

Mrs W and I had lunch and then she headed to bed, I was able to edit some photos and video clips I had been meaning to do for a while as well as watching a film too.I also headed out and bought our lottery ticket too. Oh and some milk that I forgot to purchase while in 3 supermarkets earlier this morning!

When Mrs W woke, myself and her had to go to the doctors surgery for our annual flu jabs. We have them every year.

The children headed home from school and college and then we had some dinner, tonight would have to be something simple as Mrs W and I are heading out to Colston Hall to see Al Murray live on stage. I purchased the tickets back in March, seems such a long time ago now, but I cannot wait!

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

05th October 2010

Last night we had a lazy night, a snuggle night, I had a shower, changed into my warm dressing gown shut the curtains and then sat on the sofa watching television. I hardly moved all night, it was bliss. We also gave the children money to catch the bus, so we could have a lie in this morning. I finally got up at gone 9am. Made breakfast for myself and Mrs W. then headed out of the house to buy some groceries for the days dinner and our lunch.

After lunch Mrs W headed to bed for her afternoon nap, I fed the chickens some left over pizza and they loved it, they especially loved the garlic bread slices!! I was left watching a film on one of the many movie channels we have, I avoided the horror channel today! I also had a little go in the arcade on the carers forum I belong too, still cannot reclaim my spot of champ on the game I like, must try harder, sounds like something I was often told at school.

I have to collect our son from college as he finishes at 4:30pm today, by the time he caught the bus home he would not be back home until gone 6:00pm at least when I collect him he gets home around 5:00pm so we can all sit and have dinner together.

After our dinner, Mrs W and I are heading to bingo, trying our luck at Gala again tonight, you never know, plus to be honest Gala is cheaper, but busier, the club however is somewhat tired in decor compared to Mecca.  But, bingo is Bingo, where ever we play.

Monday, 4 October 2010

04th October 2010

Woke this morning and only used the snooze button twice, yes, only twice! a miracle I am sure. Had to wake our children up as usual, our daughter headed out for her paper round and our son got up ready for college, there was a small bottle neck for the bathroom this morning, as a result the carer had to wait a short while so we could get on our way to college and school, not that it mattered much to her, we are paying her anyway. She still left our place on time anyway.

I had my three price checking audits to carry out today after the school run, I used them to buy our groceries for the day. I headed home after the audits and had a quick word with the domestic carer, then, headed to the post office to post off a letter to get our daughter free school meals, I then headed to our local news agent to top up our electric key.

Myself and Mrs W headed out to a pub for our lunch today, what a difference in weather too, today could almost be a summers day. Oh, by the way, we did not win at Gala bingo last night, but, the place was full of cigarette smoke, I found it difficult to imagine what it would have been like prior to the smoking ban, but last night was awful, they had the doors open and the smoke was drifting into the bingo hall, I came home smelling of tobacco smoke.

I also ventured into the games arcade of a carers forum I belong to last night for the first time ever, I don't usually play online or console games as a rule, but I found myself at a little bit of a loose end prior to heading to bed last night and gave it a quick look at. Played a couple of games and unusually I did not get bored. I might even venture back some time too!

This afternoon I collected the chickens eggs, watched some television and then collected our daughter from school, our son is heading home on the bus.  Tonight is going to be a snuggle evening, a nice hot shower, put my dressing gown on and sit with curtains closed, a nice cold drink and watching television, I shall try and avoid answering the door and the telephone, we shall see how that idea pans out wont we? ! 

I checked my blood pressure this afternoon and despite running round here there and everywhere it was much more respectable at 139/84 not too far off my ideal target. I am happier with that, I also realised this morning, that for some reason I had missed taking my medication yesterday, that could have some baring on my reading yesterday too! 

Sunday, 3 October 2010

03rd October 2010

Woke this morning at 9am, made breakfast and woke the household up for the day, I feel surprisingly refreshed today, first time in a long while. The weather  is not too good again today, I had to repair the fencing between us and next door as during the night it had blown down, then, I let the chickens out for the day.

I headed to the local supermarket, fetched our groceries, took the recycling to the bottle bank and then filled the car with diesel, headed home and before I knew it, it was time to make some lunch, today we had egg and bacon sandwiches, talking of eggs, Penny one of our hens, laid an egg that looked more like a Walnut! the shell was so wrinkled, none of us fancied eating it, so, sadly we threw it away, I have no doubt it would have been fine, but, it did not look appetising. Take a look HERE     

After lunch I had to take our son for his shift at the pub he works at, then I headed home and caught up, or rather should I say got caught up on facebook and twitter, while writing the blog and watching a horror film on television, I really shouldn't watch horror movies, they make me on edge for the rest of the day.Not to mention what it does to my sleeping pattern too!

At 3:30pm I had to collect our son from the pub, I had a pint while waiting sat next to the large wood burning fire, again, I do love that fireplace in the autumn and winter. I headed home, I got my dialling finger out and ordered us a pizza for our dinner tonight, our son is having a friend round tonight for a curry and DVD night, he has asked our daughter to stay upstairs, we have been asked nicely to go out, so we are heading not to Mecca bingo, but to Gala bingo for a change, it is nearer to our home in the event of any emergency that might require us home in a hurry. Not that we do not trust our son in anyway, but feel we should be around or near home as he has  a friend in for  the night.

I also felt that in view we have not won recently at Mecca a change of club might see a change in our luck, after all heading to Mecca from Gala worked right? so, there is a sort of positive logic to us heading to Gala for a change instead of Mecca, right? well only time will tell I guess, so watch this space as they say.

I checked my blood pressure again today, 145/96 not the highest it has been, but, I still feel it is a little higher than the doctor would like, I am due to see her in a few weeks to have a check up, I am not sure when I see her she will be overly impressed with the results of the Ramapril, I would not be surprised if, she put me on further medication, she is also going to check my liver, kidney functions too as well as my cholesterol too, last time it was higher than she would have liked. I have been watching my diet, but I do not think it has helped much, given the fact that I am still having days of high blood pressure, nose bleeds and headaches.

Saturday, 2 October 2010

02 October 2010

Woke this morning to a bright start to the day, there was even a hot air balloon in the skies this morning, I woke our son and Mrs W, I made Mrs W her breakfast and mine too, Our son finally emerged and made his, we headed out of the house to visit my mum and nan in Filton as always on a Saturday, I had to try and get nan's heating working however, one of the thermostat valves seems to be stuck closed, I will have to try again when I have more time to have a look, if I cannot fix it,  or my mum cannot either then it will require a plumber to do the repair.

After visiting both my mum and nan, I headed to the pub where our son works and dropped him off for his shift, headed home and then made Mrs W some lunch, I then headed out to purchase our lottery ticket and some bits and bobs from the local shop, our daughter headed out for the afternoon leaving me in peace to watch television, gather the hens eggs and such. We had fun and games this morning, one of our hens made a dash inside the house while our son was checking the Coop, she almost made it up the stairs too, until we busted her. I could not help but take a photo of her, HERE before sending her back out into the garden.

I had to collect our son from his shift at the pub for 3.30pm. Whilst there I thought it would be rude not to enjoy  a pint, I sat in the pub by their large wood burning fire. I love it sat there, it seems to invoke lots of happy memories, of Christmas, bonfire night and other such winter activities. There is something enchanting about a wood burning fire. It seems so magical.

This evening we are enjoying a curry for our dinner from the local take away, then, myself and Mrs W are heading to our local Mecca bingo to hopefully win a small fortune, if not, we would have had a fantastic night out amongst our new found friends. I cannot believe how friendly the members and staff are there.

Friday, 1 October 2010

01 October 2010

Well I wish this weather would make up it's mind, today is pouring down again, still mild for the time of year though, I woke this morning, our son was grateful I woke him for his bus, he nearly overslept, Our daughter got soaked doing her paper round this morning and had to use her none compliant shoes for school, I did not have a phone call so I presume she got away with it as her proper school shoes were soaked.

I did the school run as usual after breakfast and then headed to the supermarket, I have no mystery shopping visits today, instead my task was to try and purchase a new printer as ours seems to be dying, a simple task you might think, but no, it was not to be, I still have no printer, I know what I want and, so far the local shops do not have it, many of the printers are 2 cartridge printers, I want individual cartridges they are much more eco-friendly as with the 2 ink system you waste so much of the colour cartridge as not all of it gets used when the printer thinks it has, it may only be one colour that has run out, but you need to replace the whole cartridge.

The afternoon I have been sat watching a documentary about the German storm troopers, very interesting and made me thankful they did not win the World War, things would be so much different had they done so! I was also searching online for a printer, I guess I shall have to go to PC World, find one I like and see if I can get it cheaper elsewhere.

I  won't be going to bingo tonight, I know that is rare, but, we shall probably go on Saturday and Sunday night anyway, will do us good to have a night in plus I need to catch up with the soaps and other programs, so many people asking and telling me about television, I just look at them dumb founded, I have totally lost the plot of some of the programs as a result of living it up at bingo most nights!